"Travel more extensively", "Begun my business sooner”, "Made peace with my father", " Sold more paintings", "Worked less, and played more," "Stayed in school and got a degree”, "Followed my heart”, "Volunteered more”, "Not let others make up my mind”, "Taken more chances with my career”, "Been more adventurous”, "Ended my marriage sooner,” "Stayed together and worked it out”, "Exercised more”,"Managed my finances better”.
These were the comments several people shared when I posed this question at a recent conference. “If you could go back and change one aspect of your life that would've brought you more joy what would it be?”
Most of those in attendance had been through 4 or more decades of their lives and had some definite ideas about what they would change. Many also realized it is never too late to seek something you hold dear.
While we can't always redeem a broken relationship or start activities we may not have the physical capacity to do, there is really little we cannot accomplish if we seek our joy.
In life, joy is critical and the need to experience what makes you smile and feel fulfilled can be the anchor of your day. Once you realize your joy can have a domino effect on other things and people the better EVERYTHING in your life will be. Regardless of your current situation, making some attempt daily to participate in what brings you joy is the secret of life. You may make excuses why you are not able, but everyone who wants to achieve something which brings them joy is able to start down that path if they really want to. Sometimes it takes making a hard but necessary decision to stop and change directions. Sometimes it means putting yourself first without guilt. Sometimes it means to make a commitment and stick to it and sometimes it means to do it because you can regardless of what others say or think.
Your joy is your joy and to really live life you must seek it and share it.
So, what do I wish I would've done?
1. Published more books and earlier in my career.
2. Stopped obsessing about whether my house, kids, relationships, etc. looked like others thought they should.
3.Continued singing in a band!
4.Taken a mission trip
And yes, I am working to achieve those things. Kay Warren, wife of renown pastor, Rick Warren of Saddleback Church says that we must "Choose joy" and certainly it is a choice. Often we let the trivia of everyday life block our joy. We become frustrated and disappointed that we have spent yet another day just going through the motions. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to say, "Nothing, I would not have changed a thing!" when we come to the end of our lives. We can. We have a chance to start today.
Discovering your joy, what makes you smile, what you enjoy doing regardless of the effort or cost helps define the place you are destined to be." So many people wonder what their purpose is, when their joy might easily demonstrate that. Joy might be the biggest fuel for your fire.
If you really want to make a difference in the world, make a difference in your life first. Find your joy and begin to celebrate it.
If you could change one aspect in your life what would it be?
What brings you joy?
Want to join a tribe of trailblazers who found their fire? Come visit me at KathyBrunner and sign up for the newsletter and to be part of the team.
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With the entire country caught up in the Olympics these past two weeks, one thing has become obvious; announcers may make anyone who has perfected a skill but fails to gain a gold medal feel diminished by some standards but everyone who has made it to the games has achieved a personal gold, regardless.People may not remember the the names of the bronze medalists in shot put, the silver medalists in equestrian dressage or even those who narrowly missed the gold in other events. Perhaps there was minimal to no fanfare for those whose posted times, scores and accomplishments were just slightly below the winner but there are many who faced hurdles and obstacles far greater than those in the Olympics and whose gold was in the process not in the winning.
Steve Lopez participated in his taekwondo event with a broken leg. Josefa Idem from Italy made history by being the first woman to attend 8, yes EIGHT Olympics. At 47, the femal kayaker reported age didn't matter as, "...the stopwatch doesn't ask."
The drive for gold led to some being disqualified like Italian race walker Alex Schwazer who admitted to using the performance-enhancing drug EPO because he felt pressure to win a second straight 50-kilometer walk gold medal. He later sobbed on national television, saying he wanted the gold "at all costs."
Some, like Sarah Attar, who finished last in the 800 meter track competition had a far different statement to make. She was the first Saudi woman to ever compete in the event and her time or finishing position hardly mattered as much as the opportunity. And certainly the athletes from Cameroon and Sudan who dismissed the chance to get their gold at the games, sought it instead in escaping the venue attempting to obtain political asylum.
Yes, there were amazing athletes, some who will forever be known as the first to break a record in their event. Several will see their pictures grace the covers of national and international magazines, receive offers to promote numerous products and be spokesmen and women for countless organizations. Their lives will change because of their abilities but even those who "failed" to be champions will gain something they didn't have when the Olympics began. Each one will get the opportunity to say, "I did it!" Each will have had the chance to give their dream a shot even if their ultimate dream was to escape an intolerable situation or be the first to participate in an event.
Life is much like the Olympics. People with exceptional skill and talent often make it to the top and become wildly famous and successful, but just as many "unknowns" will go down in history for being the first to try something new and different. Many "unknowns" became the Steve Job's, Mother Teresa's, Stephen Spielberg's and Sandra Day O'Connors. Even more became those who ran a business, championed a cause, began a grass roots organization or volunteered to make the world better.
Your face may never be on a cereal box and you may never be asked to be a guest on a well known TV show, but gold is in the process not always in the outcome. Whether you start a business that cannot be sustained, complete a project for self gratification, write a book few read, go back to school, return to the workforce or just get to the gym regularly; gold is in the commitment to get started and try. Sometimes you will succeed and reach your goal. Sometimes your goal might be diverted for a better reason and sometimes you may come up short. But, like the Olympians, you will be able to say you tried .
We live in a competitive age and unforgiving society in terms of accepting loss or applauding second best and yet, I would rather be known for trying something I wanted to try and not being successful than in regretting I never went after my dreams. What about you?
If you are worried your idea is not yet good enough, your skill not yet perfect enough, your cause not yet large enough because someone has told you the competition is tough and you are not ready? EVERYONE is ready to try something. Our human spirit makes us ready. If a paraplegic can run a race with others with two good legs, you are ready to try something you really want in your heart.
It is in the trying that you become better; in the mistakes that you learn new strategies, in the obstacles that you find your character and in the outcomes that you learn much about yourself you would never have known had you never tried.
Now, what do you need to just start so you can find your "gold" and say, "I did it!"? Your victory is waiting. Because you can't win until you begin.
