Friday, January 11, 2013


I looked in the mirror and I saw a woman who loves what she does. I saw a woman who can write, speak and make a pretty mean cheesecake. I saw wrinkles and some grey hair and a woman who doesn't care if her make-up isn't perfect as long as her presentation is spot on. I saw a woman who feels blessed to have the people in her life she has and someone who isn't ever going to want to learn to play bridge.

Maybe some other people see a woman with an attention deficit disorder because I realize that's what they call what I have. I didn't just realize I can't do one thing at a time, I have no patience when I must wait and have nothing to "do", I feel like I am wasting my most precious commodity whenever I sit in traffic or I am a veteran at both multi-tasking and misplacing many things I own. I've known those things for quite some time.
Multitasking (Photo credit: foreverdigital)

Oh no, I always knew I was not good at just sitting and listening. Even when it appeared I was totally present, I was mentally planning my shopping list, or rearranging my family room. Having had to look for cell phones in refrigerators and keys in trash cans, I always handed important things over to others stating, "Hang on to these for me, I "lose" things easily. 

But recently when I was listening to a webinar while trying to check my email, write some directions to a friend and toss a toy to my dogs, I realized I never called what I had what everyone else already knew!! Yes, I once had a friend who reported on her birthday card I stated,  how much I valued her friendship and then,"a platform for non-fiction is quite different than one for fiction." (Yes, listening to a lecture, while writing out her card!) And once when I was joining a group of friends for tennis, I forgot my tennis shoes but brought my recorder and someone asked me if perhaps I had taken my tennis racquet to the interview  I had done earlier. Asking my husband if he has seen my car keys whenever they are in my hand is a pretty huge revelation but I always thought that was just part of my personality...and IT IS...but others call it, "attention deficit disorder."

People give names to all types of things and because many people function very efficiently despite those labels, few people often realize they are dysfunctional, codependent, socially challenged, conformity resistant or high maintenance. I think sometimes that is perfectly Okay!

One woman I know constantly complains about not being able to get started on her goals. When I suggested perhaps she is a procrastinator and might need some "help" moving on, she said, "Oh, no I'm not a procrastinator, I just have trouble getting things started!" 

So, I have attention deficit disorder according to most definitions and I don't believe it's going away anytime soon and you know what, it doesn't really matter much to me.

You see, labels are just that. They are labels simply identifying a behavior or condition. We are slender (or not), accident-prone, generous, insecure, impractical or focused. We might be identified as having anger management issues, executive function problems, technophobia  or even obsessive /compulsive behavior and while taken to any severe extreme, these behaviors can prohibit our growth, many people are quite successful despite those labels.

What you see yourself as becomes an internal mirror for a direction you choose to take. The woman who I mentioned could be described as a procrastinator has had a successful marketing career for over 20 years, has raised 4 amazing children, been on the board of a large non-profit and can make Ray Charles look like an amateur at the piano. She drips with talent but her goal is to write a book and while she talks about it all the time, she has never really begun to put her thoughts into print. She confessed that she thinks no one will take her seriously and she can't see herself as a writer and as much as she wants to be, she won't ever start until she believes in herself. 

Look at yourself. Seriously look. Do you see yourself where your passion wants to take you or do you really want to achieve something that "feels" strange and "looks" foreign to you? You will never grow a passion if you don't "see" yourself the way you want others to see you.

So, I write, because I am a writer. I speak because I want others to hear how they too can make a passion happen...and I misplaced my cell phone in the clothes hamper and mailed the phone bill without the check inside because I have attention deficit disorder (I guess).

It's all good as long as what you see in your mirror is the image you want it to be.
What's in your wallet? ( I mean, mirror!)

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  1. Hey, I do all those things too, it is a running joke when I lose things, the kids say such as "did you look int he dryer", when we are speaking of the house phone, or "Gramma they are on your head," when talking about my glasses. Hmmm I thought I was alone in this. Mopping the floor while I write a blog post. yes your post seems very familiar, yes labels are just labels and I don't bother with it to much either, until I become dangerous. lol

    1. Thanks for stopping by Jan. Yeah, there are a lot of us out there! You must demonstrate how you write a blog post while mopping. I have not perfected that move yet.

  2. That is absolutely awesome Kathy! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "You will never grow a passion if you don't "see" yourself the way you want others to see you." And as for all those labels - normal behaviors are not being classified as disorders and syndromes! I think it's ridiculous. Once we get to a point where we can accept ourselves as we are - work on improving where we can, sure - but realizing God created us and says His creation is good - then we can be more accepting of other people too.

    1. Ann,
      Thank you for your kind words. It's bad enough when the rest of the world imposes the labels, we certainly don't need to give them to ourselves and yes, how blessed we are accepted just the way we are in God's eyes no matter what we have lost, misplaced, forgotten or screwed up.

  3. Great post, Kathy!! I think the more a label is used to describe us, the more we become the label...that can be good and...not so good!
    Thanks for the reminder that we need to see ourselves first!

    1. So very right, Lisa. I'm going to work on a label that keeps saying, "beautiful and thin"!
      We often allow a description to define us. Thank you so much for stopping by to comment.

  4. So true about labels. My daughter has the ADHD label, too, but she has never really paid much attention to it. She is more like that kitty seeing a lion in the mirror--great picture!!

  5. Good for your daughter, Galen. Sometimes I think if most of us paid serious attention to all the labels we had been given we would be far different and much less content. You can't be a lion if you only see the kitty.
    Thanks for dropping by!